It Hurts

So. It still hurts. No matter what I do. No matter how much meaningless sex I have, no matter how much I dance, no matter how much I dig my heels in... It hurts.

What hurts is that he didn't love me like I loved him. Ever. I believed in him so much. I trusted him so much. But he never did anything but love me like someone loves a dog. A beloved dog... but just a dog.

He threw me away.

Yeah, it hurts.

Today Sucks

Sigh.

In Which J Remains a Prick

J managed to find a way to hurt me again. He got a tattoo of LK's scene name in conji on his arm. His left arm. Where he said he'd put mine. Mother fucker.
Why is he such a cocksucker?

In other news...

I went out on a date with a very nice guy named Terrell. He was such a gentleman. I very much enjoyed his company.

And, I still have my steady fuckbuddy. He fucks like Tarzan. He likes to hurt, I can tell. Maybe I can talk him into spanking me?

I'm definitely not looking for a D/s or M/s relationship. But, a little play would be very nice.