Done

This blog is done. I'm opening a new one. This one just... was transitional. Its the briefiest glimpse of me in transition. It doesn't feel right to journal about the life I'm living now on this blog. Just as this one was necessary at that time because Always His obviously no longer served my needs. As always, I'll keep it. I think that all of my experience is important and valid. All pieces of my life that I will look back and examine.
But, its time for something new. Something that reflects who I am at this point. And hopefully this one will be flexible enough to grow with me.

Yay!

Just wanted to check in and say how well I am doing. I've got a home, I'm seeing Kkid regularly, Bkid is doing great... and I'M OFF ALL MY MEDS AND DOING GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I plan to go back to college in the fall. I've left the lifestyle and I'm dating a little bit.

Life is GREAT in the land of divorce!

Still Grinding

Life sucks in the land of divorce. Last month I lost 18 pounds. And, yes, I know I've been trying to loose some weight, but starving almost to death wasn't what I had in mind. I also had to sell my blood. Fuck, I hate needles. But, I got through it.
Still homeless.

Fuck, I can't do this, its just to depressing.

Bottomline, I'm still alive.

It Hurts

So. It still hurts. No matter what I do. No matter how much meaningless sex I have, no matter how much I dance, no matter how much I dig my heels in... It hurts.

What hurts is that he didn't love me like I loved him. Ever. I believed in him so much. I trusted him so much. But he never did anything but love me like someone loves a dog. A beloved dog... but just a dog.

He threw me away.

Yeah, it hurts.

Today Sucks

Sigh.

In Which J Remains a Prick

J managed to find a way to hurt me again. He got a tattoo of LK's scene name in conji on his arm. His left arm. Where he said he'd put mine. Mother fucker.
Why is he such a cocksucker?

In other news...

I went out on a date with a very nice guy named Terrell. He was such a gentleman. I very much enjoyed his company.

And, I still have my steady fuckbuddy. He fucks like Tarzan. He likes to hurt, I can tell. Maybe I can talk him into spanking me?

I'm definitely not looking for a D/s or M/s relationship. But, a little play would be very nice.

Feeling Like A Million Bucks

Well. What can I say... I think a lot of my problem was simple sexual frustration combined with... Oh I don't know... a lot of dumb shit.

I've found a steady fuckbuddy who is really good in the sack. The sex is amazing. I've told him I'm not looking for a serious relationship but rather a friend with benefits. Its working out great. We can talk and enjoy each other's company... have great sex... and you know what? That's all I want right now.

He took me to a club on Saturday night, actually danced with me (something J would never do) and paid for everything including my gas. He knows how to show you a good time.

I'm walking on top of the world. I've got my independance, my son, money coming soon, and I'm not pissed off anymore. I truly wish J and LK the best. They need good wishes.

Fuck moving on... I've moved. Now to start putting my life together.

ps
J was wearing one of those things that look like a tobagan except knit when he brought me Brad on Sunday. HIL-Fucking-LAROUS!!!!!!!!!!

Dork.

Remind me what I ever saw in that man.